Wednesday, October 31, 2012


so halloween is upon us. but there is a shroud of gloom over the city as hurricane sandy finally leaves NYC. lives have been lost, homes destroyed, lives utterly ruined.

i hope there are some who will carry on in the wake of this horrific tragedy

And this year i am alone, yet again. i should be adjusting halloween decorations, preparing candy bags and toys, getting my costume ready. but no. i'm here alone plunking away at my keyboard.

though last year was fun. i spent it in toronto by going to a haunted puppet show and a haunted theme park but... you know how that ended. being mocked of one's mental affliction is certainly not a good way to show someone affection.

speaking of disappointment, due to the storm ravaging nyc the halloween parade is cancelled and all subways are shut down.

so much for trying to cheer myself up in the city. i hate my fucking life. my physical health has become an issue, my mental health is teetering between utter despondency and stability... i wish this would just fucking end.

I've mentioned I applied for disability. I hope i get it. the money will help with bills since i now have no photoshop contracts.

speaking of my financial situation, i dont know how much longer i can take of applying to jobs. i'm so tired. something has to give. something has to break. something good has to happen.
and that's it.

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